Before The Dawn
by Dark Wings Descending
Summary: It is only forever while it lasts. That is a valuable lesson Severus Snape will be given when he, somehow, survives the Second Wizarding War. Whether he will learn that lesson is yet to be known...
1. All There Is

**I**

All There Is

The sounds were muffled and very distant and he couldn't see where they came from because everything was dark. He couldn't even remember any words or images to form a thought; he didn't even know what a thought was for sure. But, somehow, he knew he had never been in… wherever he was and there was nothing there. Nothing. Then, as unnamed fragments of time passed, he started to realise there was a mind in him and he tried hard to hold that frail piece of knowledge, unsure of how to do it exactly. Later, something seemed to start piercing his mind, struggling to get to him, and there was nothing he could do: he could neither stop it nor allow it. That something did not give up and he could only wait for whatever was to happen next. The insistence continued and, suddenly, like a ray of blinding light, a memory of a pair of almond-shaped green eyes appeared. That single memory lingered in his mind for a period of time he could not define before, without a warning, everything else flooded violently back to him like the most furious wave ever born in the sea: his neglected childhood, his unhappy years at school, the rejection by the only woman he had ever loved, the resentment that lured him to join dark forces and the repentance that led him to secretly fight back those forces, the agonizing feeling of losing his love forever and the hateful pain of having to live with the living proof of what he would never have.

Finally, Severus woke up. His eyes immediately reacted to the dim light of the room and he had to close them only to open them slowly again. After a few seconds, he was able to try to focus on his surroundings and soon realised he was lying down on a bed. The first thing he could see was the plain white ceiling, which now had a dark amber colour painted by what he assumed to be candlelight. He then tried to turn his head to his right, but was immediately stopped by the excruciating pain the attempt caused on his neck and his spine. Somehow, Severus couldn't find his voice to scream while the pain brought him back the memory of Nagini's mortal attack. Nagini, Lord Voldemort's pet snake, had been ordered to kill Severus and the former Potions master could not remember a single surviving victim of the giant reptile. So, how come was he even conscious? Had he died, after all, and his given scenery of Hell was to look at the ceiling for all eternity, knowing he would be severely punished if he tried to look away? For some reason, Snape didn't feel dead, but he didn't know how he could be alive either. The snake's attack was deadly, he was sure.

After he didn't know how long, Severus started hearing the same sounds from when he was unconscious and he quickly assumed they were the steps and calm voices of someone outside the room. As time passed, he convinced himself he was alive after all; the situation seemed real and the pain in his body was proof enough for him. Severus did not try to move again; he had never been a curious man, so he was not willing to push his already weak physical condition just to see where he was. The only thing he had left to do was keep staring at the ceiling, that boring ceiling, and wonder about everything: how had he survived? Who had taken him to where he was now? Had Voldemort been defeated?

After a while, Snape realized that all those questions to which he had no answer were exhausting his mind and he was starting to give in to the need to fall asleep again when he heard the sound of what seemed like a door being opened and then closed, followed by a few steps. In a matter of seconds, a round face with rosy cheeks, small blue eyes and a snub nose entered his range of vision and Snape did not like the kind look on the man's face; he simply didn't have the patience for happy people.

"Ah, Professor Snape! You're awake!", the man said cheerfully. "I hope you had a good rest"

"Where am I and how long have I been here?", Severus asked, his voice implying a certain disdain for the man in front of him. Only then he realised his throat was very dry.

"You're in St. Mungo's Hospital, Professor. You were brought here almost two weeks ago", the one who Severus assumed to be a healer answered, still in an irritating good mood. "Your injuries were very severe and it took our best efforts to keep you alive. Fortunately, you have been recovering well"

"I see...", were Snape's only words for a few seconds; he was still wondering who had taken him to the hospital to save him, after all he had done. "When will I be able to... return home?"

"It depends on your recovery, but I'm confident I'll be able to release you in approximately two weeks. Of course, the healing process will last more than that, but it won't stop you from leading your everyday life. Do you have any more questions, Professor?", the healer said and, when Snape did not answer and just stared at the ceiling, he continued in his joyful mood. "Very well, then. I'll leave you to rest"

As the healer left the room, Severus realized that maybe some of his questions had just been answered: there was a happy healer in charge of his case and Snape himself was still alive. This could only mean Lord Voldemort had been defeated... but at what cost? He had never forgotten the day Dumbledore had told him that, eventually, Harry Potter would have to die in order to destroy the Dark Lord forever and he certainly had never forgotten how betrayed he had felt. Not that he cared about Harry; he was too much like his father, Severus' arch enemy. But he was also Lily's son and the Potions master knew he had to honour her memory after the horrible mistake that would haunt him for as long as he lived. So, Snape could not help but to ask himself if everything had been in vain.


	2. The Call

**II**

The Call

Even though it was August, there was a thin veil of fresh rain graciously falling from the sky and all the night stars were hidden by its clouds. She hadn't checked the clock for hours, but it was late in the evening as she sat in a comfortable armchair reading _My Life as a Muggle_, by Daisy Hookum, accompanied only by the light of the candles in the room. Everything was silent, so she was startled when she heard something scratching the window glass rather impatiently. Looking up, it took her a second to realise it was an owl and she immediately put the book down before standing up to open the window. The owl didn't wait long to fly into the room and rest on the bedside table, where it dropped a letter. She let the bird rest there for a while to dry its feathers and picked up the letter to see it was from Minerva McGonagall, the new headmistress of Hogwarts. She had been expecting that letter for weeks and didn't wait for the slightly damp piece of parchment to dry before breaking the seal and unfolding the letter. Fortunately, the writing was intact and it read:

"_Dear Ms. Sorin,_

_I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen to fill the position of History of Magic teacher at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Given the circumstances, I was not able to write to you earlier and I can only hope you are still available. If that is the case, I have to ask you to come to Hogwarts as early as you can. That way you can reacquaint with the castle and be ready to welcome the students on September 1__st__, when term starts._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress."_

Deirdre Sorin had been a Hufflepuff student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from 1980 to 1982 before her parents decided to move to France, mainly because her Muggle mother had been given the opportunity to work as a photography director in a film company, which she simply could not miss. Even though Deirdre was at school most of the time, her mother wanted her to be as close to home as possible, so in September 1982, she started term at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, in southern France. Deirdre had loved the two years she had spent in Hogwarts, but had also enjoyed her time in Beauxbatons, where she had studied hard and as many subjects as she could. During summer, she always had time to find and develop her interests and her first adventure happened in 1986, when her parents finally allowed her to spend a month in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary before term started that year. The final year of school was a very busy one for her, as Deirdre took tests for all of her subjects, excelling at three, exceeding expectations at six and failing at one. After finishing her studies in Beauxbatons, Deirdre started an internship at the Ancient Runes Studies Centre in Ireland, where she worked for two years. Leaving Ireland, the following two and a half years were spent in Romania as she returned to the dragon sanctuary; during her stay, she continued her studies on other magical creatures as well. After that, Deirdre Sorin spent seven months developing her photography skills with her mother. In 1993, she accepted the offer to join a team of researchers to collaborate in an historical research project, after which another invitation followed and it was for the National Library of Magic in The Netherlands. In December 1997, she decided to finally return to England and, after the war was over, she applied for a teaching position at Hogwarts.

Deirdre had described all her experiences in the letter she had sent to Minerva McGonagall, stating they could be valuable for a subject as comprehensive as History of Magic. Apparently, her words had been taken into consideration by the current headmistress of Hogwarts and Deirdre couldn't feel happier: after all the damage the already called Second Wizarding War had caused, she knew she ought to find a purpose for her life and she couldn't do it if she arrived in a place already thinking where she was going to next. This time, she wasn't planning ahead; teaching at Hogwarts would be her only occupation for a while.

Sitting down at her desk, Deirdre took a piece of parchment and a quill to write a short answer to McGonagall, confirming that she would be at Hogwarts on August 31st. Folding the letter and sealing it, addressing it to the headmistress, she gave the letter to the owl, who was still patiently waiting on the bedside table. She then opened the window, allowing the bird to fly away, and noticed it had stopped raining. After breathing the fresh air for a few minutes, she closed the window and returned to her desk to write a letter to her parents to tell them the good news and to make a list of everything she had to do before she left to Hogwarts. As she wrote, Deirdre thought about the challenge ahead; being a professor required long term commitment and hard work from her, but she felt she was ready for a change. Somehow, she knew it would be an experience she would never forget.


	3. Back To The Future

**III**

Back To The Future

He stood in front of the Entrance Gates contemplating the castle. Even though Severus Snape had never been a man who thought twice about anything, this time he was unsure about what he was going to do. After the secret life he had been forced to live for sixteen years in the name of Lily Potter and the outcome of the war, he felt he shouldn't have survived to see a magical world where fear of Lord Voldemort terrorised people no more. Because of that, returning to Hogwarts didn't seem like the right thing to do.

Severus had gotten out of the hospital in June and returned to his home in Spinner's End, where he found dozens of The Daily Prophet editions piled up near the fireplace in the living room; clearly, the owls had found a new way to deliver the newspaper. He read them all in a single day and was rather surprised that Harry Potter had declared several times Snape was, in fact, a hero and told the true story behind his actions. Although he would never admit it, Severus was thankful that Potter had not mentioned any aspects of his private life. Apart from that, all the other news were about casualties, detentions, special pardons and heroic acts during the war; the recent editions showed The Daily Prophet was slowly dropping the subject, which could be thought of as offensive, given the suffering the magical community had endured, or a bliss, in a way that everything people wanted now was peace.

He had also received a letter from Minerva McGonagall in which she simply wished him to get well soon and to meet her at Hogwarts as soon as possible. At first, he had thought of not answering at all, but then he knew that it would make him a coward. So, reluctantly, Severus wrote his answer to her and sent it without thinking too much about it; he simply felt he had unfinished business in Hogwarts and he could not turn his back on it.

Now he was finally there and suddenly certainty turned into doubt. Snape didn't know if he would be welcomed and, even though he had never cared about other people's thoughts on him, knowing the truth about his allegiance was now public didn't make his return easier. Sighing, he opened the gate, entering the Hogwarts grounds, and started his way up the hill towards the castle, taking his time in doing so. After all, he had suffered an attack by a giant snake, which would leave its mark for the rest of his life. Severus still found walking and other physical activities painful for his spine and, even though the healer had assured him it would eventually get better, he had serious doubts about it. There were also the scars on his neck; those would never fade away.

When he finally entered the Front Hall of the castle, Minerva was already waiting for him at the bottom of the marble staircase. They stood there for a moment, in silence, and it was obvious it was an uncomfortable situation for both teachers. For almost a year, Snape had had to play his role as a loyal servant of Lord Voldemort, being rewarded with the position of Headmaster of Hogwarts, and McGonagall had opposed him the entire time, confronting him on the verge of the final battle.

"Minerva", he said in his cold voice, acknowledging her.

"Severus", she greeted back, still unsure of what to say to him. Then, she politely gestured for him to follow her up the staircase. "I hope you have been recovering well"

"I'm doing what's possible", Snape replied, clearly showing he was not willing to talk about his health condition.

They remained silent until they entered the headmistress' office, which had once belonged to Albus Dumbledore. After McGonagall closed the door, Severus turned away from the portraits on the wall to look at her; he was not expecting anything surprising to come out of their conversation.

"Well...", she started, not looking at him as she walked to her desk. "You must agree this situation is... unusual"

"Indeed", was his only reply, which did not make Minerva's task any easier.

"I summoned you here because... I would like you to teach at Hogwarts again, Severus", she stated firmly. "After all the events of the past years, I cannot think of anyone more adequate to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts", she finished, looking at him rather apprehensively. This was completely unexpected for Severus Snape, who had applied for that position for several years without any success; Dumbledore did not trust him enough to let him be that close to the dangerous combination of Dark Arts and easily influenced minds. But, apparently, McGonagall thought he had given the ultimate proof that he could be trusted.

"Why are you offering me this position after Dumbledore denied it to me so many times in the past?", he then asked, succeeding at not showing his doubts.

"You proved to be more loyal to the Order than any of us would have thought, Severus. Only someone who knows the Dark Arts so well and is still able to resist them can teach our students how to defend against them", Minerva answered and she sounded sincere to Snape. Her offer was tempting, but, for someone who still asked himself why he had lived when he should have died, it carried a burden he was not sure he would be strong enough to bear. Accepting it would mean he would submit to the painful reality: if he didn't spend the rest of his miserable life teaching, then he would have nothing else to do rather than to sit at home waiting for death to take him.

"I left a few personal belongings behind after the battle", Snape stated with no emotion in his voice.

"Of course", McGonagall replied, confused, as it was the last thing she had expected him to say. "They are in Dungeon Five"

Severus Snape then walked to the exit door without a word, wondering why his belongings were in a dungeon, since his private chambers had never been in the dungeons, but stopped abruptly and turned around to face McGonagall again.

"I will give you my answer before the sun sets", he finally stated before he turned around again and left the headmistress' office.

* * *

><p>It was Saturday afternoon and the sun was timidly shining outside while Deirdre put the last small pile of sweaters inside the suitcase, in which she had used an Undetectable Extension Charm so everything she needed to take to Hogwarts could fit in. Sitting down on the bed, she looked around the room. Deirdre had been living in that rented bedroom for almost eight months and she couldn't help but to feel a bit nostalgic already; after all, she had spent that time waiting for something new to happen, a new adventure, and everything had been planned in that ordinary room. Sighing, Deirdre stood up again and, picking up the small suitcase, walked to the door and out of the room without looking back; there were better things to come, she was sure.<p>

After checking out at the guest house reception, she exited the building and walked to the nearest bus stop. Anyone who passed by her on the street would not find anything odd about her, for she looked like a typical muggle, dressed in very ordinary clothes and carrying the perfect suitcase for the weekend. This was a role Deirdre Sorin was used to and completely comfortable in, since part of her family was muggle and she had lived without performing magic until it was time to go to Hogwarts.

Because the Hogwarts Express would only leave King's Cross station on September 1st and she had to arrive at Hogwarts before that, Deirdre was taking a regular train from Euston Station in London to Aberdeen, in Scotland. Once there, she would go to Dufftown, near which Hogwarts was located. She had plenty of time to get there, so she had decided to enjoy a travel by muggle means, since she had lived most of her life in the wizarding world and was sure she would not have contact with the other half of her heritage for a long time.


	4. Remembering Hogwarts

**IV**

Remembering Hogwarts

The boat slowly entered the Boathouse as the first rays of sunlight cut through the thin morning mist. Deirdre looked around the harbour, which had a high stone ceiling and glass walls which allowed natural light to illuminate its interior, and immediately her first and most intact memory of Hogwarts seemed to come back to life. Even though eighteen years had passed, Deirdre remembered her first arrival at Hogwarts perfectly, as well as the Sorting ceremony which had placed her in Hufflepuff, breaking the family Ravenclaw tradition. The enthusiasm to start her magical education was something she had never been able to replace in her life and, even though she did not want to admit it, the search for that feeling was what truly drew her back to Hogwarts.

When the boat finally docked, Deirdre stepped out of it and made her way up the steps that led to the dock. Then, she exited the Boathouse by taking the stairs leading to the Viaduct Courtyard. As she walked through the quadrangle, she noticed there was nobody in sight and she wondered if she would have to wait somewhere for Minerva McGonagall or another professor to come and welcome her. Because of that, she took her time to look and memorise her surroundings, noticing there was a stone cloister around the courtyard and two towers separated it from the viaduct itself. With each step that echoed through the courtyard, the details of the castle's architecture refreshed her memory and she only hoped it wouldn't be long until she knew her way around Hogwarts.

Finally reaching the Viaduct Entrance, Deirdre was surprised to see the headmistress and a man she vaguely remembered as the caretaker were already there waiting for her. The tall witch who had been her first Transfiguration teacher was visibly older as her hair, combed back into a bun, was now grey and the wrinkles on her face were now deeper than Deirdre remembered. Her severe look and preference for emerald green robes were something the former student had not completely forgotten, though. Looking at Argus Filch, she immediately understood why he was not among her fondest memories of Hogwarts: besides his extremely unpleasant personality, time and beauty had not been kind to him as he looked much older than Deirdre thought he was. Also, she was not sure he was familiar with the term _bath_.

"Miss Sorin!", McGonagall called, more cheerfully than Deirdre ever remembered hearing from her, as she walked to the newly arrived to greet her. "Welcome back to Hogwarts"

"Thank you, Headmistress. I'm very happy to be back", she replied with a timid smile.

"Argus, take Professor Sorin's suitcase to her new chambers", the headmistress told Filch and, as the caretaker walked away with Deirdre's luggage, she turned to face her again. "Please, follow me"

Because it was simply impossible to see the entire castle in a few hours or even an entire day, Minerva showed the new teacher the most important places she needed to remember in order to start working the next day without getting lost. That way and in almost two hours, Deirdre tried to memorise the location of the History of Magic classroom, her office, behind which were her private chambers, the Great Hall and the library. By the end of the tour, the headmistress already addressed her by her first name and only then Deirdre realised how strange it would be to work with colleagues who had once been her teachers.

After the brief visit to the library, the headmistress took Deirdre to the younger witch had never been in this room and what she saw did not disappoint her: the grey stone floor was covered by beautiful and carefully crafted deep red carpets with delicate details in various other colours. There were portraits of famous wizards who had taught at Hogwarts, including the Four Founders, hanging on the walls along with several candle holders and the wall opposite the door was completely hidden by bookshelves. On the right wall was a rather big fireplace and above it was the coat of arms of Hogwarts showing the four houses' mascots and colours and on the left wall were only two narrow windows. Finally, in the middle of the room was a long dark wooden table surrounded by chairs made from the same material, some of which were now occupied by professors.

The members of the school's teaching staff were either chatting or minding their own affairs, probably preparing the first classes of the term, Deirdre thought. As she entered the room right behind McGonagall, the teachers turned their attention to the two witches and Deirdre felt slightly intimidated, but followed the headmistress to the head of the table.

"Good morning", she greeted them. "As you all know by now, Miss Deirdre Sorin will be our new History of Magic teacher. I trust you will do your best to make her feel welcomed at Hogwarts"

"Sorin, eh?", a short, round man who had stood up repeated. This man was starting to lose his grey hair and his skin was pale, although he had rosy cheeks. His blue eyes were very curious and he had a round nose and thin lips, all features Deirdre recognised immediately.

"Yes, Horace, she was your student", McGonagall replied, clearly trying to hide the little patience she had for interruptions.

"Ah, I knew it! I never forget a face. I remember thinking you were a very promising student", Horace Slughorn stated and, even though the former student knew he was lying, she smiled at him.

Deirdre Sorin was then introduced to the other teachers in the room. Pomona Sprout was the Head of Hufflepuff and Herbology teacher, so she remembered Deirdre perfectly: Pomona was a short and chubby woman whose robe seemed to be soiled with dirt, and she always had a cheerful smile on her face.

Professor Sybill Trelawney was the Divination teacher, but Deirdre did not remember her at all because she had never taken Divination and because this teacher was rarely seen out of her office or classroom. Sybill was, unlike Pomona, tall and slender and it was impossible not to notice the eccentric clothes and accessories she wore, with beads and vivid colours which didn't exactly match. Her hair was of a light brown colour and she had green eyes which were magnified by the thick glasses she wore.

Filius Flitwick was the Charms Master and Deirdre remembered him quite well. He was a part-goblin wizard and Head of the Ravenclaw House. Although many years had passed, she still recognised him by the short brown hair cut in the same style she had always known, the moustache of the same colour and the goblin evidence in his facial features.

Finally, there was Severus Snape. He had been her Potions teacher for only a year before she had to leave Hogwarts and, even though she had a general idea of his physical appearance, it was his ability to inspire fear and respect in his students what made her recognise him. The now Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was thin and wore a black robe. His shoulder length hair was also black and it framed a face which had a rather severe expression; his black eyes, hooked nose and thin lips all showed a man who had built an invisible barrier between him and all the others in that room.

Professor Snape had a very vague memory of this former student of his and, had it not been for the name, he would say she was yet another member of the Weasley family: the first thing one could notice about Deirdre Sorin was the fiery red hair which fell over her shoulders with a slight wave here and there. She had fair skin and brown eyes, a small nose and small lips, which were now curved into a timid smile. As for the clothes, she was discreet, wearing a dark green dress that went down to her knees and a black coat. Snape was sure she had not been a brilliant student as far as Potions was concerned or he would remember her better and he wasn't particularly impressed by her; she was probably another one of those teachers who would stay for a year and resign by the end of June.

"Here is your schedule for this semester, Deirdre", Minerva said as the other teachers returned to whatever they were doing before the witches entered the room, giving her a piece of parchment. "And this is a summary of everything each year has already learned to help you prepare your classes", she continued as she handed her the document. Seeing as she would start teaching in two days, Deirdre took the summary with the same smile as she tried not to show her worry; after all, she had only a day to plan her first classes.

"Thank you", she replied. "If that's all, I'll start working right away"

"Of course. That is all", McGonagall said, clearly pleased by the new teacher's efficiency.

"Join us for dinner later", Pomona suddenly invited, looking away from her notes, with a smile on her face.

"Thank you. I will", was Deirdre's equally cheerful answer before she finally left the room.

* * *

><p>The day had gone by with the usual frenzied activity that preceded the start of the school year and all teachers felt more or less tired when they arrived for dinner. Without the presence of any students, they could be just a group of adults talking about a variety of subjects of everyday life. However, being alone in the castle with his colleagues did not change much for Severus. For several years, he had never been close to another Hogwarts teacher for various reasons, mainly because they didn't trust him. Now that every thought about him had been proved wrong, Severus silently made it clear that nothing had changed the bitter person that he was. That is why he sat in his usual seat at the table and did not speak a word while everyone else chatted and tried to make Professor Sorin feel welcomed at Hogwarts. He simply wasn't interested in this person, just like he was not interested in anybody in the world; he preferred to be left alone and to leave others alone as well. Unluckily for him, the next day would bring him unwanted company.<p> 


	5. Separate Paths

**V**

Separate Paths

He looked at the grey sky through the window glass as he tried to ignore the pain on his neck; it had been a while since he had left the hospital and Severus doubted he would ever get rid of that reminder of everything that had gone wrong in his life. Now that he had had enough time to absorb the change, he concluded that this was the punishment for his sins: to live in pain in a world without Lily Evans. Not a day went by in which he didn't believe he should be dead, but ending his own life was completely out of his character; he had never given in to such pitiful thoughts and he certainly wasn't a coward.

Sighing, Severus Snape turned away from the narrow window of his office and picked up the textbook from his desk to exit the rather dark room at a slow pace and in silence. It was still early in the morning and there were few people in the corridors of Hogwarts, so he took his time as he walked, his mind still concentrated on every aspect of his never-ending misery. It was not the most entertaining thought his mind had ever produced, so he easily heard it when someone behind him seemed to drop several objects. Turning around, Severus Snape saw a very embarrassed Deirdre Sorin kneeling down on the floor trying to pick up her scattered books and notes. Unfortunately for her, her hurry only made her task harder as she dropped one or two again and, when she noticed Severus was there, calmly watching the scene, he saw her blush furiously. Why she simply didn't use magic to end the ridiculous situation was beyond him. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Deirdre picked up her class material and practically ran away with a quick nervous smile, never looking at him. As he watched her turn around the corner, Professor Snape pushed away his thoughts on what he had just witnessed, knowing his first impressions never failed him: a typical Hufflepuff, Deirdre Sorin would be gone by the end of the school year.

* * *

><p>She finally dismissed her students, even though there were still ten minutes left to lunch, and closed the book feeling defeated. Deirdre was in her third week of teaching and she hadn't found a way to captivate her students' attention yet; History of Magic was simply too boring for them. Of course this wasn't a surprise for her as she recalled her own student years, when she often heard classmates state that it was the perfect class to take a nap. She had to admit that, during her first year at Hogwarts, it had been hard to pay attention to Professor Binns' lectures, but she had hoped to be a more interesting replacement for the ghost who had simply disappeared during the Battle of Hogwarts.<p>

Professor Sorin then stood up with a sigh and gathered her books on one side of the desk before she left the classroom. On her way to the Great Hall, she found Pomona Sprout, who had been very welcoming to Deirdre and with whom she felt most at ease among the teachers.

"Deirdre!", the Herbology teacher called cheerfully.

"Hello, Pomona", Deirdre greeted back, unable to show the same good mood.

"What is it?", the other witch asked with a slight frown as they walked together to the Great Hall for lunch.

"My classes aren't going very well", she answered, even though she knew it wasn't a surprise to the other teachers; after all, she hadn't awarded any points to any students yet. "I try to get their attention, but they are just not interested... I'm sure they can find something they like, but..."

"Then why don't you teach them that?", Pomona interrupted her, smiling like the solution was obvious.

"What do you mean?", was the redhead's confused question as she raised an eyebrow.

"Well, History of Magic is about _everything_ that has ever happened, been discovered or invented in the magical world, so find what appeals to them and take it from there", Professor Sprout seemed absolutely delighted with her own idea.

"Oh, I see...", Deirdre said, realising the challenge would be bigger than she had previously thought. "Thank you, Pomona. You might have just saved my life"

Because she still had to prepare the new method, Deirdre's remaining classes of that day didn't go very well either. But she did not want to lose any more time, so she skipped dinner that night and went straight to the library to gather general information on other school subjects, hoping there was at least one favourite for each of her students. As she read through several books and took notes, Deirdre did what she enjoyed the most: studying and learning. That passion was the reason her father was surprised she had not been sorted into Ravenclaw like all the known generations of the Sorin family tree, but Deirdre had never seen the Sorting Hat's choice as something negative; in fact, she thought that, because nobody ever expected anything from Hufflepuffs, it was the house that allowed its students to be whatever they wanted to be.

The research took several hours and she only realised it was late when she noticed there was nobody else in the library and no sounds could be heard from outside the room, apart from the fact that there were only two candles lit in the room and they were resting on her table. Suddenly, Deirdre started feeling very tired and admitted it was time to go to sleep. Making sure she didn't forget anything, she blew out the candles and found her way out of the library with the _Lumos_ charm. As she closed the door as silently as she could, she noticed it was rather cold in the corridor, a consequence of the changing season. Turning around with her mind unable to concentrate on complex things, Deirdre didn't manage to find her voice to scream as she saw the figure of Severus Snape standing just a few feet away from her.

"Oh, I... I'm sorry. I didn't... see you", the History of Magic teacher immediately felt stupid, although she was not sure why. As the weeks progressed, the memories of her former teachers became more vivid as she now saw and talked to them every day. Unknowingly, they reminded her of their main character traits and Snape was not an exception.

"Too much pressure... Deirdre?", he asked slowly as if her intelligence could not match that of a toad's.

"Yes! I mean... No". She wasn't able to think straight in his presence, just like when she was a student; he was simply too intimidating. "I have to go. Goodnight... Severus", was the best excuse she could find before she walked away from him and the library door. Professor Snape was simply not a pleasant person to be around.

For the second time that day, Severus watched his new clumsy colleague walk away from him because she, like everyone else he knew, was not comfortable being in the same space as he. It was not in him to care about that sort of thing, so he continued his way back to his private chamber as silently as he could; tonight, Severus was not in the mood to satisfy the curiosity of an unoccupied caretaker or any other person he might find.

When he finally closed the door behind him, shielding himself from the rest of the castle, the former Death Eater let out a loud sigh and put the ingredients on the table. Then, after setting up all the utensils he would need, Severus Snape started the work that would take most of the night hours to be complete. The potion for the pain he had been taking since the attack no longer worked, so he decided to _borrow_ some ingredients from Slughorn because he hadn't had time to supply his personal stock since he had returned to Hogwarts. Now he was brewing a new and stronger potion he hoped would relieve his pain and let him sleep at night. Deep inside, he did not wish for it to disappear because he knew it never would; Severus only wished for the bliss of those few hours of unconsciousness, during which he could forget the cold reality of loneliness.


	6. Unlikely Hero

**VI**

Unlikely Hero

It was Saturday morning and most of the students were going to spend the day at Hogsmeade. Severus Snape was usually grateful for this particular day of the week, as he longed to spend it swamped in the silence that filled the castle while the students were out. Unfortunately, it was his task to check each student's permission before they exited the castle and it took quite a while for him to complete it; it seemed there were more and more children admitted each year and, if he didn't know it was a work of magic, he would wonder how did Hogwarts have enough space to accommodate them all.

When the last third year student walked out of the castle, Severus sighed heavily as there was nobody around to notice his exhaustion. He hadn't been able to sleep well the previous night because the constant pain in his back hadn't allowed him to, despite the strong potion he had taken. He was starting to feel frustrated and was wondering if he had lost his talent for potions.

Deep in thought, Severus barely noticed the two witches approaching the main entrance until there were right in front of him. Deirdre Sorin and Pomona Sprout were clearly ready to go out as well, with their coats and handbags, and they stopped their cheerful talk abruptly when they saw him standing by the door, ready to leave.

"Severus", the Herbology teacher said, acknowledging his presence.

"Pomona. Deirdre", he did the same in his cold, uncaring tone.

"We're going to the Three Broomsticks", the redhead apparently felt the need to inform him, like he would actually be interested. "Would you like to... come with us?"

Pomona Sprout was unable to hide her astonishment and Professor Snape realised the newly arrived clearly didn't know how things worked around Hogwarts; she was either too daring or too stupid, he couldn't decide. As the shorter woman looked at him, then at Deirdre and then back at him, Severus knew she was asking him to end that uncomfortable moment.

"As much as I would be... _delighted_ to join you, I'm afraid I must refuse", was his slow and empty answer. Making sure she understood the implicit message, Snape simply walked away from the two women and away to the confinement of his chambers.

* * *

><p>They entered the pub to escape the cold weather and found themselves a table near the window. Pomona ordered two Butterbeers as they took off their coats and sat down.<p>

"I thought he would have changed over the years", Deirdre suddenly stated, looking around the crowded room. "I mean, after everything that happened last year..."

"Oh, don't worry about it", was the other woman's reply. "He hasn't changed a bit; that's just who he is... That's why people say he's an _unlikely hero_"

"But there has to be a reason why he's so bitter", Deirdre insisted.

"Maybe...", Pomona said, apparently wondering the same thing. "I don't know much about Severus' life before he came to Hogwarts as a student... or after that, for that matter", she then paused to drink her Butterbeer. "But let's talk about something else!"

* * *

><p>Once again, he was sitting in his private room and reading through yet another book for experienced potioneers; he had to try something else to relieve that pain, for it was becoming very difficult to hide it from others. Severus had to move slower than before in order to cause less strain on his neck and spine, but Defence Against the Dark Arts was a subject that sometimes required quick gestures and it was difficult for him to hide the fact that he was in pain from his students, although he still managed to do so.<p>

Closing the book with a loud sigh, Professor Snape thought about his current position: he was finally teaching the subject he had always wanted and, now, he didn't feel satisfied. Of course, only a fool would think the Dark Arts had vanished with the death of Voldemort; he hadn't been the first Dark Wizard and he certainly wouldn't be the last. After two wars, the wizarding world was finally learning that danger would not stay away forever and the wise thing to do was to be prepared for when it returned.

So his subject was as important as it had been before, only now he taught students who had lived through the war and who would never want to experience it again. Then why was Severus still not satisfied? His life had lost its meaning so long ago that he felt he was just passing time until the day he died. Severus Snape knew any other person would react differently to having survived a mortal attack while saving another person's life, but he was not that kind of person and the one he had saved meant absolutely nothing to him. Harry Potter's only importance was the fact that he was Lily's son and that was all. He did not expect a word of gratitude or even the acknowledgment of what he had done from him. Snape had saved Harry's life and that was where the debt to the woman he would forever love ended.

* * *

><p>Returning to the castle at the same time as the majority of students who had been to Hogsmeade, Deirdre and Pomona parted ways as they both had some work to do that day. As she walked up the stairs, the young teacher noticed Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall passing by; the low volume of their voices clearly indicated that, whatever they were talking about, it was not meant for curious ears to hear. They didn't stop when they saw her, but the Headmistress acknowledged her with a faint smile and Professor Snape simply threw her a cold, emotionless glance. Even though Deirdre considered herself a curious person, she knew better than to try to listen to what they were saying.<p>

Shaking her head, she walked away in the opposite direction. She was becoming more and more intrigued by Severus Snape and the effort he put in shielding himself from those around him, but she had to let it go. The former Potions Master's life was a very, very well kept secret.

* * *

><p>He finally closed the textbook, dismissing the third year students with a wave of his hand. Sitting down at his desk, Severus closed his eyes for a moment; he felt very tired. Besides his health problems, he had yet another thing to worry about: Minerva had asked him to fill the position of Deputy Headmaster and he was not sure he wanted to accept it. Since the entire wizarding world had discovered the true nature of his actions, his colleagues and even his students looked at him in a different way. There was no longer distrust in their eyes, but respect and a certain curiosity for his mysterious motives. Even though he would never say it, Severus Snape was not comfortable in the role of... <em>hero<em> and being Deputy Headmaster, which would one day lead to being Headmaster, would only expose him more than he wanted.

Opening his eyes, the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor stood up again and was on his way to the open door when he heard footsteps approaching. In a matter of seconds, he saw Deirdre Sorin walking by and, unfortunately for him, she noticed him and stopped just outside the door.

"Hello", she greeted, smiling nervously. Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Severus simply looked at her for a second and resumed his way to the door. Deirdre's instinct was to step aside as he left the classroom.

Unable to believe this act of plain rudeness, the History of Magic teacher spoke before she could think clearly about her words.

"What have I done to you?", she asked, a bit louder than she had wished. This made Snape stop abruptly and slowly turn around to face her with his always empty expression.

"Excuse me?", his cold voice seemed to intimidate her, but it was not enough to make her run away from him.

"There has to be a reason why you are so rude!", Deirdre stated as she knew she couldn't erase that moment anymore. "Does it really hurt to greet someone back?", she should have stopped there, but she couldn't help herself. "No wonder you are always _alone_"

"Is that the worst insult you can think of? ", Snape asked, completely unshaken. "No wonder you were a _Hufflepuff_". Pausing, he realised it was very easy to break her down. "I have seen dozens like you in Hogwarts before and I assure you, you will be clumsily flying away on you broom by the end of June". Another pause. "Now stop wasting my time"

Professor Sorin simply watched as he walked away and was unable to hide the fact that his words had affected her. It was obvious he thought she was weak and stupid, exactly what Slytherins thought about everyone else. She hadn't meant to provoke Severus, but she had never been treated that way by anyone before and her only conclusion was that a Death Eater would always be a Death Eater, for Snape clearly took pleasure in making others suffer.


End file.
